5 Reasons People Act so Crazy on Dating Apps

Most people you know in IRL are normal. Then why are so many people you see on dating apps weird or crazy af?

We’ve all been cursed with a crazy colleague, roommate or neighbor at some point, so know it happens in real life too. But if you’re on dating apps, the odds you’ll have some kind of crazy experience go up dramatically. Here’s why:

The crazy people are ALWAYS on dating apps.

Behavioral economists say this is down to ‘information asymmetry’. If you’re a normal, honest person and you’re serious about finding a partner, chances are you’ll see how many crazy people are on dating apps and decide to use them less. Or maybe you’ll be lucky, meet a partner, and come off the apps.. But the crazy people get a buzz from going on a lot of dates and messing with as many people as possible. They don’t want to commit to a partner, so they they stay on the app forever. The number of time-wasting people grows all the time, and the number of ‘serious’ people gets less and less.

2. There are no background checks, which encourages people to lie.

This is why pathological liars and people with unstable identities LOVE dating apps. It’s hard for you to verify if anything people are telling you is true, and there aren’t really any consequences.

One study suggests 80% of people lie or exaggerate on dating apps. This can be dramatic – for example, lying about being married, or straight up catfishing people with a fake identity. But ‘kittenfishing’ (minor catfishing) is also a thing. People say they’re 3 years younger, claim their job is way cooler than it is, or pretend they’re super sporty when they just aren’t. Which brings us too…

3. No accountability or consequences!

People with bad intentions love dating apps as the friends, family or colleagues they know in real life will never hear about the shitty things they did to people they met online. Most of the people who harass others and send weird messages on apps wouldn’t say those things to someone they met at a friend’s party or in the office.

If you go on a date with a friend-of-friend and you act abusive, creepy or just straight up ghost them, you can be sure they will tell your mutual friends about it. This would damage your reputation and make the group dislike you or even kick you out.. But dating apps let you meet 100s or 1000s of people with no mutual connections, which can encourage people to treat each other like they’re disposable.

99% sure he wouldn’t use that line IRL 🙂

4. Too many people to choose from.

Dating apps give you the illusion that there’s an endless, revolving supply of new singles for you to meet. A study claimed online daters have a ‘rejection mindset’ and have way higher expectations, because they know they could find another date who is ‘just as good’ as this one easily. They are less likely to commit to this person as they believe there COULD be someone else out there who really ticks 100% of their boxes.

Dating apps want you to stay single and keep searching, because that’s how they make money. Read our article about how dating apps are using enshittification techniques to keep you single.

5. They use dating apps for a self-esteem boost, not to date.

This seems harsh but a few studies have shown dating apps really appeal to people’s vanity, especially those who get a lot of matches. Studies also say apps help people ‘re-present’ themselves, try on new identities, and help them feel cooler than they actually are. There’s a lot of opportunity for validation here, and some people are just fishing for matches. That could be why they match with you, but then ignore your messages.

Take a break from dating apps.