Dating Apps REALLY Are Getting Worse: It’s Called Enshittification

You didn’t imagine it – dating apps really are getting worse. 

It seems their goal is to help people find partners. BUT if their customers actually did all find partners, they’d delete the app. Then the app would make no money. 

On Valentine’s Day 2024, six people in the USA filed a class-action lawsuit against Match.com, which owns Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OurTime, and 40+ other dating global brands (yep! That’s why all those apps are so similar. They’re all owned by the same people). The lawsuit argues:

 “Match intentionally designs the Platforms with addictive, game-like design features, which…. transform users into gamblers locked in a search for psychological rewards that Match makes elusive on purpose.”

Basically, they’re saying Match.com makes apps addictive to extract as much money as possible from desperate single people, but they make sure their product doesn’t actually do what it advertises – which falls foul of false advertising and consumer protection laws. 

This seems very sad and even dystopian. But it’s actually part of a greater trend of enshittification we’re seeing across numerous industries.

What is Enshittification?

Enshittification is a process where service providers (like dating apps) deliberately make their product WORSE over time. (Cory Doctorow invented the term enshittification. If you’re interested in this topic, make sure to read his famous article here) 

In the beginning, they offer a good product for free or very cheap to get customers hooked, or ‘locked in,’ as Business School dudes call it. For dating app users, ‘lock in’ might mean you feel you need the app because it’s gotten too hard to meet dates IRL without them. 

They don’t make a profit, they actually make a loss. But that seems ok, since they have secured millions from investors who have a strategy to make this business profitable in the long-run. Gradually, the company makes the free version of the app so bad that locked-in customers feel they NEED to pay for the ‘premium’ version. This model focuses on making as much money for shareholders as possible, without caring much about the customer’s experience. 

So, how are dating apps doing this?

Making ‘free’ versions so frustrating to use that you upgrade to Premium. 

This is the #1 rule of enshittification. Rather than offering something better, the Premium version just takes away the most annoying parts of the free version. For example, one of the most annoying features on Bumble is that users only have 24 hours to message a new match. While this can be good for encouraging people to start conversations, busy people won’t have time to check the app every day and probably miss out on some good matches. 

Bumble Premium sidesteps that and lets you rematch with expired connections. Likewise, if you run out of swipes, you’ll need to pay extra for more. The free version is so annoying to use or ‘enshittified’ that you feel you need to upgrade to Premium. Which brings us to our next point..

Making it harder for customers to find what they need – unless they pay more!

You might have asked yourself: “If everyone’s on dating apps – why can’t I find someone right for me on there?”

It’s a big, big world. There must be good matches for you out there. Dating apps are good at one thing, what economists call ‘thick markets’. They’re so popular that it seems almost every single person is on them, but with so, so many profiles to wade through, it can still be hard to find the right one.

 And sadly, dating apps have enshittified this process to make your odds even worse here! Some examples:

• TikTok users even claim Hinge collects data about which kind of profiles you find attractive, then deliberately hides the profiles it knows you’ll like. The app tells you that you have 20+ or 50+ matches, and pushes you to upgrade to Premium to see who those matches are. 
• Tinder and Bumble let you pay extra to find out who already likes you. They deliberately don’t show you those profiles, because that would help you get a match without paying anything! You now feel like you have to upgrade, or you just won’t meet anyone.
• Bumble’s ‘Advanced Filters’ helps you narrow your search down to profiles you actually find interesting. Some users believe that if you don’t use this feature, the app will mainly show you profiles it knows you are NOT interested in. And that isn’t the only way the app is using your data against you..

Using your data against you.

Collecting that data about what you like and dislike helps dating apps target you with advertising. Enshittification is rife here: the hope is that customers will be so annoyed by ads, they’ll upgrade to Premium (Spotify is perhaps the most well-known example of this). 

Dating apps watch your swipes closely and use that data to find ways to extract even more money from you.

Hinge users think the app will charge you different amounts to upgrade to Premium depending on how ‘hot’ the algorithm thinks you are (how ‘valuable’ a user you are to them). ‘Hotter’ people are good for the app, as ‘less hot’ people will want to use it to have a chance of matching them. So they pay less. ‘Less hot’ people are less valuable, but more desperate, so they’ll be willing to pay more. So yeah. If you’re hot, you’re unwittingly part of the app’s scheme to make money from people it considers less hot than you!

These are just a few examples of the ways dating apps are trying to make dating even more complicated. While companies from Amazon to Airbnb have been accused of enshittifying their products to extract more cash from customers, it seems even more exploitative to do this in a ‘human’ industry like dating. 

You deserve better than toxic dating apps.

Plenty of people do meet partners on dating apps, so it is possible. But the apps are going to great, great lengths to make that as difficult as possible for you. They’ve fundamentally changed dating culture and the way we socialize. And a lot of us feel ‘locked in’, wondering how we’ll meet dates without them.

I’ve been in a relationship for years and thankfully detoxed dating apps from my life long ago. But then I found myself traveling solo, and wanting to meet some travel buddies to hit the local bars. I downloaded Bumble BFF, and I was so disappointed to see just how much worse the apps have gotten in the last few years! 

These apps really aren’t interested in the ‘human’ side of the business, helping people connect. That’s what I really want to change with my ‘Slow Dating’ Events. The events are designed to help you directly meet people IRL, 0 apps involved.

Slow Dating is based on a key idea: people make better connections when they’re relaxed and being themselves.

😨No awkward 1-on-1s – you hang out in small, mixed-gender groups so it feels like chilling with friends.

🎉30 minutes per group, enough time to loosen up and go beyond small talk.

👫 50/50 gender balance at our hetero events (FLINTA-only events are coming soon.)

🐱 No creeps or catfish. Attendees identities are verified before the event. We have a 0 tolerance policy for any creepy behavior.

🎲 Games and conversation starters: We’ll provide Cards Against Humanity, Exploding Kittens, playing cards, and a (totally optional) ‘emergency conversation starter jar’ with fun and random questions.

❤️ No pressure to make a move. Your host will get in touch after the event to find out who you’re interested in meeting again. If it’s a match, you’ll have the option to share your contact details.

We hope to see you at our next event 🙂 

Check the event calendar to find out when and where we’ll be meeting.